Buttercups have a large scar/ring around the blossom end. Kabochas don't. Both are dry robustly flavored squash. Kabochas tend to be larger than buttercups.
I believe that languages are living, and that dictionaries should describe how people are currently using words, not how they should be used. So to me and to many of the people I hang out with buttercup and kabocha are synonyms.
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