One good clue is to look at the top of the fruit, if it has a white line, it's growing, and that is good. If it's not growing, it's probably too late. Also, open one from time to time and look at the seeds. They should not be hard (give it a bite if necessary). That will also tell you if they are bitter.
Size is not enough as not all fruit grow the same. It also depends on conditions.
To me, a good eggplant variety should never be bitter.
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