Yes, glossy and firm is the rule - you can't really pick them too small (although if they are too small they aren't of much use) - but you can let them go too long - if they get dull looking, blemished, start to split. The real sign of hanging-on-the-vine-too-long is a color change toward yellow or gold - that is when they are ripe in terms of seed harvest, but beyond prime eating stage.
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Craig
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